Girls can get away with being shy, but for a guy who finds it difficult to have a conversation with a woman it’s a little more complicated because as a guy you are expected to go up to a girl and talk to her or make the first move. It is important for a guy to learn how to not be shy around girls.
While shy guy believe that they the only ones who find it difficult to speak to girls, you should know that there are a lot of guys out there that are not as confident as others. Being shy isn’t something you should be embarrassed about. It’s part of who you are and overcoming shyness is something you just have to learn along the way. While some guys manage to overcome their shyness once they graduate from middle school to high school, others my take a little longer.
Although most confident guys look like they are the ones who take home the prettiest girls, the truth is girls are also attracted to shy guys and are just waiting for an opportunity to start a conversation. If there’s somebody you like and you want to begin a conversation with her but you are too afraid or shy here are some interesting techniques you could try out to get her to talk to you and feel comfortable around her.
Understand Your Behaviour When You Are Around Girls
When we talk of someone being shy we usually refer to them as not being able to hold up a conversation. There are however, different kinds of people who are shy. Some of them cannot strike a conversation when they are in the middle of a large group while others talk too softly. There are also those kinds who try to stay away from large groups because it intimidates them and then there are those who won’t talk because they have absolutely no control over their nerves.
To begin with, you got to figure out what kind of shy person you are so you can learn how to deal with it more effectively. You also need to figure out what triggers your shyness so you can work on improving the situation and getting comfortable.
Different people face different situations that could make them feel shy. So you need to understand what triggers your shyness and what makes you feel out of your comfort zone so you can face the problem.
Identifying what makes you feel shy is really important because until you do that, you won’t be able to find the right solution to the problem. While some guys are shy in general there are others who are shy only in front of a girl and while they are comfortable talking to a boy or a large crowd, they can’t find themselves talking to the girl they like. If you have tried talking to a particular person because you like them because you were too scared to approach them, then you need to work on your moves towards approaching that person.
However, if you are generally shy person and you try to stay away from a crowd you need to work more on your social skills so you get more confidence.
Talk To Yourself
This may sound insane but talking to yourself on a regular basis can actually help you overcome your shyness. Talking to yourself does not mean you start talking loudly in middle of the road or while you are in your classroom – it will make you look crazy! It simply means you constantly need to motivate yourself and tell yourself that you are an amazing person and you are going to be more confident in your daily conversations with friends.
When you are at home look at yourself in the mirror and keep telling yourself that you are a confident person and you are going to interact with new people daily. Imagine yourself talking to the person you like and say the things you always want to say to her but you are too shy to do it when you are around her.
When you keep practicing, you will finally get better and you will eventually say it when she is around. If you don’t have the confidence to talk to her and you never had any interaction with her, practice how you will approach her and what you would say to her so that you start becoming friends.
Smile At More People
Smiling is one of the things that you need to do just gain more confidence to talk to the one person you like. It is important for you to gain confidence so you do not lose confidence when you approach her. If you see somebody you know or if you cross paths with your classmates, acknowledge them with a smile. This will surprise them and they will smile back in all probability.
Start doing this more often and more frequently and you will realise that you are gaining more confidence to smile at people and this increases your social skills one step at a time. When you smile at people it sends out positive vibes and they send those vibes back to you. This does amazing things for your brain and you automatically start to feel better.
People often underestimate a smile, but when you use it to your advantage you realise that it can help you get the confidence you always needed.
Start Focusing On Conversations That Happen Around You
If you feel shy all your life, chances are you have no clue when to start a conversation or how to hold up your end of a conversation, which is why you need to learn how to do it effectively.
Spend time with your friends and watch them talk about the various things around them and learn from what they talk. Begin slowly by responding to them and try to ask more questions or put your thoughts across. Most shy people are intelligent and they know exactly what to say but they just don’t say it because they don’t have the confidence to do it. You have to take that first step so that you start talking to people and once you do, you soon find yourself confident enough to approach the person that you’ve always wanted to talk to.
Once you start understanding the conversations a little at a time, start making your way towards the person you want wanted to talk to in the first place. If you are too shy to approach her alone do it in a group so that you feel more comfortable and you manage to get closer to her without doubting yourself or creeping her out. There are benefits to approach a girl in a group and one of them is you get a clear if she is interested in you.
Pay Attention To What She Says
When you begin hanging out with her, start paying attention to things that he talks about. This will help you learn a lot more about her and it will give you a reason to do the things that she likes so that you are able to have a conversation with her.
The reason you pay attention to what she talks about is because it gives you motivation to go ahead and extend a conversation no matter how far you are, and it also prepares you to talk about something you should be interested in rather than the fear of becoming a fool by saying something inappropriate.
People generally tend to stay away from conversations because they believe they will say something that makes no sense or become the laughing stock of the group.
Don’t Stress Too Much About What You Need To Say
Once you know what interests her, don’t think too much about how you are going to talk about the topic, just start talking. If you make a mistake or you say something that’s wrong, joke about it and take it lightly rather than feeling offended when somebody points out your mistake.
When you take it personally, it is easy for people to bully you around, but when you take things you say lightly no one can make jokes about it and you will get more and more confident with each conversation you have. It’s all about making the very first effort to talk to somebody and you will manage to start flowing through conversations with his. This also helps you to learn more about her and try new ways to impress her.
Don’t Be Afraid To Have A Good Time
If you want to overcome your shyness, you have to learn to be comfortable in the situation you are in and this means learning how to enjoy yourself even in uncomfortable situations.
Smiling is going to be a little difficult for you at the start but you will eventually manage to really enjoy yourself and forget all the problems or complications that you were dealing with initially.
Don’t Be Afraid To Impress Her
If you know that something is going to impress her, do it. Overcoming your shyness is all about trying things that you’ve never tried before and pushing yourself to situations that initially made you uncomfortable. While you don’t need to get all cocky and say stupid things, you should try to do things that you know she will like.
If you know she enjoys a particular sandwich from a restaurant, buy it for her and surprise her! If you know that there is a particular album she likes listening to, suddenly surprise her with those songs!
Do random small things that make you stand out a little but not too much. This also helps you figure out what she’s thinking and where her mind is. If she is touched or shows a little more interest in you and appreciates every little thing just for you, she is just as interested in you as you are in her. The reason it is important for you to find out how interested she is in you is because it helps you to get a little more confident and make your first move towards her.
Start Eye Contact
One of the best ways to overcome your fear of shyness is to begin with eye contact. Your eyes can give out more than you actually know and having a conversation with your eyes also manages to increase the level of intimacy between two people without getting physical. When you start staring straight into her eyes it makes you feel more confident in a number of ways and you start to see a connection between the two of you that helps you overcome your shyness and brings the two of you closer together.
Get Humorous With Her
Once you notice that she is interested in you start getting humorous with her and get comfortable. See how much she enjoys your jokes and whether she really looks forward to hearing what you want to say. This does two things for you, first it helps you get close enough and it also gives you more confidence to get closer to her emotionally.
Starting off your relationship based on humour is a great way to start because there’s nothing dirty about it and there is always enough time for the two of you to explore how much you actually like each other. It also helps you to overcome your shyness.
You have to remember that shyness is something you have had for a really long time and if you want to overcome it, you have to work hard towards it and take the right steps. It all begins with the first step because that is usually the most difficult for you to take. Once you manage to break the ice you can then start moving closer and feeling more confident in your approach.