Before you break up with a cheating spouse, it is essential that you first figure out where he stands. Sometimes when a man cheats it is only because he has had a weak moment. He may feel extremely guilty about his actions and may genuinely want to make amends with you. Here are 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse before you pack his bags and throw him out of your home and life.
How Did You Agree To Get Involved In The First Place?
Before a man enters forbidden territory, he will go over all the reasons why he shouldn’t be doing what he is about to. If he has found a reason that makes it worth the risk, then you need to know what it was. Maybe there is something lacking in your relationship with him, maybe he isn’t happy, maybe for him the relationship has run its course. Find out what it was that turned the platonic relationship into a raging affair. This will help you take a well-informed decision for your next step.
Did You Feel Guilty At All?
You need to know whether or not your spouse felt guilty at any given point of time for his actions. If he didn’t feel guilty after the first time he had sex with the woman, you need to understand that he probably doesn’t care about your feelings and he doesn’t even have any respect for you. If he admits that the guilt was overwhelming, then maybe he genuinely had a weak moment and should be given another chance.
Why Did The Affair Last For So Long Even When You Were Guilty?
If your spouse has admitted to feeling guilty, but still went on with the affair anyway, you need to figure out what made the affair last so long. You need to find out what it was that sustained the affair so that you’re able to take a decision about your marriage with your spouse. Maybe your spouse had genuinely developed feelings for the other woman, or she was emotionally blackmailing him, which is why the affair continued for as long as it did.
Do You Have Feelings For Her?
He may not give you an honest answer to this question, but even then you should be able to get an idea of how he feels from his body language. If he does have feelings for the other woman, then it’s obvious that you need to move out of the picture. He can’t have his cake and keep it too. If he is truly apologetic about his behavior and tells you honestly that he has no feelings for her, then maybe you can consider giving him a chance.
Did The Both Of You Ever Discuss A Future Together?
Well, if he has been discussing a future with the other woman, then it’s clear that he has moved on from your marriage. A man will only discuss the possibility of a future with another woman when he knows that there is nothing left in his current marriage. If he says that he hasn’t made any future plans of had any discussions of the future with her, there may be a chance that you and your spouse can work on your marriage and fix it.
What Did She Have That I Didn’t?
Maybe he loved her confidence and living off the edge nature, or he loved her laid back and stress free attitude. Once you know what he loved about her, you will also realize what you lack. Men don’t like it when their wives are consistently stressed and worked up. When they see that their wives are constantly obsessing over something or the other, they tend to slip when they meet a woman who is fun. Figure out what it was that he appreciated so much about her that he didn’t think twice before cheating.
How Did You Feel Different When You Were Having An Affair With Her?
Maybe he made her feel more confident, maybe she nagged him less and let him be himself. The way he felt around her is very important for you to know because that will help you understand where he stands and where you stand. If he seems to be much happier with her, don’t waste your time holding on to the relationship.
What Did You Tell Her About Us?
Well, if your spouse is a real jerk, then there are chances he has made up all kinds of sob stories to tell the other woman. He has probably told her that you don’t treat him right even when you do, he has probably told her that the both of you don’t get along and tons of other such rubbish. If he has made up stories for her that obviously means he wanted to have the affair with her and doesn’t really care much about how you feel.
How Long Has This Being Going On?
You need to know how long the affair has been going on to figure out where your relationship with your spouse stands. If the affair has been going on for a really long time, then it’s not a mistake but a decision by your spouse. If it was just a onetime thing or something that’s quite recent, there may be a possibility of reconciliation with your spouse.
Do You Want To Be With Her?
This answer will tell you everything you need to know about where your relationship with your spouse stands. If he wants to be with her, move out gracefully, if he doesn’t, make sure he does everything in his power to build back your trust.
There you have it, the 10 ultimate questions that you should definitely be asking your unfaithful partner. When you have clear answers to these questions, it will become much easier for you to take a decision on your alliance with your spouse.