People tend to have weak moments and end up cheating. This doesn’t make them a bad person, it only makes them human. If you have recently cheated on your partner and have been bending backwards to get forgiveness from him/her, you also need remember to forgive yourself. If you’re wondering how to forgive yourself for cheating, we have put together a list of effective tips and suggestions for you. Here’s everything you need to know:
Come To Terms With What You Did
Yes you made a mistake but you’re human and every person can have a slip up. In order to forgive yourself, you need to first come to terms with what you have done. You need to openly accept and admit that you cheated in order to move on and forgive yourself. Not being able to admit your mistake will only make it that much harder to reach a point of self forgiveness.
Admit Your Slip Up To Your Partner
Hiding your slip up from your partner will only make it that much harder for you to forgive yourself. If you hide the fact that you have cheated, it will constantly play on your mind and you will have to keep covering up your tracks. The best thing to do is come clean so that the cat is out of the box and you can deal with the repercussions once and for all and move on.
Don’t Let The Guilt Consume You
While it’s obvious that you’re going to feel terribly guilty about the fact that you have cheated and hurt your partner, you cannot let the guilt consume you. Don’t keep pondering over what has happened. Every time you find your mind headed back in that direction, make sure that you do something to keep your mind busy. Over time you will be able to forget about it and the guilt will also fade away.
Don’t Allow Your Partner To Hold Your Slip Up As A Weapon Against You
If your partner sees that it was genuinely a mistake and forgives you, then he shouldn’t repeatedly be bringing up the topic. Every time you have an argument or disagreement, don’t submit to your partner just because he brings up your one mistake. Your partner may try to hold your slip up as a weapon against you just so that he can have the upper hand in the relationship. Giving into this emotional blackmail will never allow you to forgive yourself and move on.
Take Some Time Off From Your Relationship To Figure Out Why You Cheated
Maybe you saw that your relationship had already run its course. Maybe you didn’t feel the same strong and undying love that you once did for your partner. Not all relationships have a ‘happy ever after’ ending and often when one partner realizes this he or she slips up and ends up cheating. Take some time off to figure out whether it was genuinely a mistake or a subconsciously directed decision. Figure out whether you want to be with your partner or not. Being clear about these things and taking some time off from your relationship will help you realize where you stand and will also help you to forgive yourself.
Get Therapy Or Couple’s Counseling If Needed
Sometimes just accepting and admitting is not enough. You may not be able to overcome the overwhelming guilt alone and might just require couple’s counseling or individual therapy from a professional. It’s absolutely normal to need help and guidance from a professional. In fact, if you take couple’s counseling, it will become much easier for your partner to forgive you and for you to forgive yourself. Don’t hesitate if you’re unable to deal with the repercussions of your mistake alone, get help from a professional so that you’re able to forgive yourself.
Break All Ties With The Person Who Was A Party To Your Affair
If you’re going to continue associating with the person whom you had the affair with, you’re never going to be able to move on and forgive yourself. You need to make sure that you cut all ties with the person that you have cheated with. No calls, no texts, no emails. Just complete digital oblivion at least until you have forgiven yourself and moved on from the guilt of your slip up.
Take A Short Break Or A Small Weekend Getaway
Plan a trip alone and get away from everything for a few days. Get away from your partner, the person you had the affair with, your friends and family and pretty much everyone. Taking a short trip alone will help you calm your stormy mind and come to terms with what has happened. It will also give you time to figure out what you want to do with your relationship. Having some alone time in a new place will refresh you mind and help you forgive yourself. You don’t need to give answers to anyone until you don’t figure out how you feel. So, go easy on yourself and take that trip away from all the overwhelming emotions and imbalances just to clear out your troubled mind.
There you have it, the most straightforward and clear-cut ways that will help you forgive yourself. While cheating isn’t something you need to be proud of, it’s also not something that you need to kill yourself over. You aren’t the first and you won’t be the last person who has cheated and had a slip up. It’s human. Attire to have a weak moment and you don’t need to beat yourself up over it. Get the professional help that you need, take some time off, figure out where you stand and come to terms with what has happened so that you can forgive yourself.